My fast paced world was about to end.
The following will illustrate how crazy I had become, racing the sun half way across the country.
Lesson learned, you can’t beat nature, it will destroy your soul.
Never taking time out for myself, I reached a plateau and was hiding a deep anxiety like a beast in the wild hiding it’s wounds from the predators.
I had a professional life to protect and responsibilities to my family. There was no way I could show any signs of weakness. Smiling on the outside, beaming light wherever I was. Darker by the day did my anxiety hide, until I faced my worst fear.
The following analogy illustrates what it’s like working against nature.
I took some days off after my wife confronted me about my manner. I gave my best to strangers and crumbs to those I loved.
I took a drive to the middle of the desert, from the Western Coast of Australia, 1700km towards the East Coast. I stayed in the only motel for a couple of days to think my life over.
The only signs outside my motel window were, ‘don’t feed the dingos’.
Not having any clarity of what I needed to do next, I set myself a challenge. I would race the sun home across the country the following morning.
I gave myself a three hour head start at dawn. For eighteen hours I raced the sun and watched it eclipse me three hours before I could make it home.
Eighteen hours of competing with nature only to fail miserably, this was a picture of my life. I chased the unattainable.
It was the beginning of resetting everything about my life, an eighteen month process at a minimum.
The renewal was difficult, the rewards have been overwhelming.
3 Lessons to renewal
1. There comes a time we have to admit we can’t beat nature and we must look for the flow
2. Taking all the time we need to renew by making incremental changes. Slow change lasts, just look at nature.
3. Acknowledge that all of life is seasonal and the desire for perpetual happiness is disastrous. Life is about ebb & flow.
They come uninvited
Depression & anxiety are unseen monsters that attack while no one is looking. Take time to reflect and know it’s not the end, it may be the beginning of the best days of your life.
It’s been nearly eleven years since this trip. I thank God for the journey but I wish it on no one.
The following is just a glimpse of when it all started going badly, I was thirty eight years old and clueless
Don’t not define yourself by your current circumstances, your best days are ahead of you.