The one who forgives is freest of all (201)

Welcome to another episode of TOMCAST,

When we talk about forgiveness in the modern world, we have to recognise what forgiveness isn’t.

Forgiveness isn’t a weak attempt to move on from hurt or someone’s failures.

Forgiveness isn’t an avoidance of real or fabricated incidents.

Forgiveness is a gutsy realisation of pain, confusion and roadblocks that need to be addressed by two or more parties.

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. … Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.

Those that are wounded seek healing and often avoid the idea of forgiveness as the best way to experience emotional and mental ease.

Rather than go down the forgiveness path, we tend to introduce the enemy of forgiveness to deal with the hurt. Let’s call the enemy, The Grudge.

The Grudge identifies itself as our friend. The Grudge claims to understand us like no one else.

Like a weed, The Grudge makes inroads into areas of our life it has no business in. It starts to question every relationship based on the hurt we’ve received by isolated negative experiences.

The Grudge shrinks our world to self preservation and even our closest relationships get muddy.

Forgiveness in its truest form is ancient and it has far more power than just words or endless therapy.

Forgiveness is courageous.

Forgiveness invokes extra ordinary human characteristics.

Forgiveness takes us beyond setting the books straight or cancelling out debt.

Forgiveness reveals a way of life that that propagates freedom of thought, unconditional love and new possibilities between two or more factions.

If forgiveness were simply cancelling debt without the means to create wealth, it won’t be long before a new debt is created.

Imagine a married couple no longer wanting to hold The Grudge at the centre of their relationship. They decide to forgive one another of past failings without a radical new path moving forward. It won’t be long before The Grudge is welcome back to destroy the half hearted forgiveness attempt.

Radical Forgiveness is about wiping the past and building the future.

Forgiveness is courageous and fights for something that was lost.

Forgiveness by its very nature doesn’t accrue debt and deals with issues directly. A forgiving person refuses The Grudge’s temptations to build a new case for future hurt.

The posture of a forgiving person always comes from a place of reconciliation of all parties. Rather than self preservation being the end game, forgiveness pardons everyone with or without their permission.

In order for anyone to fully comprehend forgiveness in its fullness, they need to look to the one that practiced this very idea 2000 years ago.

While hanging on a cross in His last moments of life, Jesus calls out to God and exercises the courage of what it means to be extra human with the words ‘Father forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing’

He directly addressed those that falsely accused Him which landed Him a death sentence. You can’t get any more radical that that. He embodied what it means to be courageous and victorious at the same time.

To truly forgive is extraordinary.

The one who receives the most by forgiveness is the one who forgives. They are the true angels in human form.

Marriages, families, workplaces, communities can do with a whole lot of forgiveness. Imagine what that society would look like?

We all go through dark moments in life where we need forgiveness or we need to forgive… Maybe The Grudge in the room needs an eviction notice…


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Tom Smilovitis 

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One Comment on “The one who forgives is freest of all (201)

  1. Tom, that was certainly very very true.
    many people carry that Grudge in a backpack . Left to weigh down the carrier.
    when you find how to cut the straps that hold the bag , true forgiveness is found.
    bless you Tom

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